If your life thus far has not yet elicited an invite from Hollywood's favourite bachelor, fear not. Perhaps Leo's personal summon, requesting your presence within his yacht posse got lost in the post? Yes, that'll be it.
If you've already reached the ripe old age of 25? Don't hold your breath. But if you're still below the threshold, as you await your belated invitation, you may as well get your packing list in order.
And rest assured, the girls who have graced Leo's pride and joy this year have much to teach us in the way of yacht attire.
Hello! Fashion shares the key pieces you need to look the part on Leonardo DiCaprio's yacht:
The barely-there bikini
There is only one acceptable swimwear style: the barely-there bikini. Leave your belted one-piece at the door, the vibe is skimpy with a capital 'S'. Triangle styles reign supreme among Leo's holiday guests, especially those with high-cut briefs and non-padded tops. Despite the presence of Arabella Chi, there are no Love Island neons in sight. Pearly gold, clean white and blue ditsy prints all made the cut this year. And yes, that perhaps means booking in for a pretty punctilious bikini wax beforehand.
The not-so inconspicuous shades
Leo's "new flame" she is self-declaredly not, but there's still plenty to learn from model and Hello! Fashion cover girl Neelam Gill. She is devoted to her chunky Versace shades, emblazoned with the label's iconic Medusa emblem on the temples. A commendable choice.
In many ways, super dark, oversized sunglasses have much in common with tinted car windows. They both give slightly mixed messages: respect my privacy, no paps pls, but let it be known that I am extremely important.
The sheer coverup
If the novelty of mons pubis-skimming bikini briefs is beginning to grate mid-afternoon, reach for a chic cover-up. Obviously, you don't actually want to cover up – there is still much tanning to be done. Opt for a sheer, languidly tied kaftan or perhaps slip on a translucent printed maxi by somewhere like Réalisation Par. (That’s right, affordable designer. I’m actually super relatable.)
The functional necklace
Soaking up the sun, partying on the Riviera and simply being on the receiving end of Leo's magnanimous hosting skills. A dizzying prospect, no doubt. Just in case you feel overwhelmed, be sure to wear a sentimental gold chain necklace, possibly inscribed with the initials of your lover. Extra points if your jewellery of choice spells out your own name.
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