Skip to main contentSkip to footer

Robert Downey Jr.'s wife Susan reveals relationship rule that's paramount to their 18-year marriage

The Oppenheimer star shares two children with his wife Susan Downey

robert downey jr and wife susan golden globes
Jenni McKnight
US Lifestyle Editor
14 March 2024
Share this:

Robert Downey Jr. and his wife Susan have one of the most long-lasting marriages in Hollywood – and there's a simple rule they follow to maintain their almost 19-year union. 

Following the Oppenheimer star's emotional speech at the Oscars after he won the Best Supporting Actor award, in which he said his wife "loved me back to life", Susan has shared the secret to their marital success. 

Revealing that she and her husband try not to go longer than 14 days without being together, Susan told People: "We do have a two-week rule, which often feels too long." 

robert downey jr and wife susan downey© Getty Images
Robert and Susan don't go 2 weeks without being together

She explained: "We don't go more than two weeks without seeing each other and the family being together. Fortunately, we prefer to be a traveling circus when we can be." 

The couple share a son Exton, 12, and a daughter Avri, nine, while Robert is also dad to Indio, 30, from a previous marriage. 

Susan continued: "You keep the basic rule of two weeks, and then you don't try and think too far ahead, because so much of what we do is oddly unpredictable. You just never know.

"Someone might get sick, or there might be a shutdown, or this or that. So, you just have to have some basic things in place, and then you have to be willing to flow with the rest of it." 

robert downey jr and wife susan downey© Getty Images
Robert credits Susan for saving him

As a film producer, Susan admitted that she can afford to be more flexible with her schedule than her leading man husband. 

She added: "The good news is I'm not in front of the camera, and so as a producer I end up with a little bit more flexibility in terms of location, of where I would need to be. 

"I really admire and have a lot of empathy for couples who both have to be in front of the camera, because you get stuck, and you have to make those choices." 

robert downey jr and wife susan downey© Getty Images
Robert and Susan will be married 19 years in 2024

Robert and Susan met in 2003 on the set of the thriller Gothika, which he starred in and she produced. Susan later recalled the first time she met her husband during an interview with The Hollywood Reporter. 

She said: "We were up in Montreal prepping for Gothika, and we had lunch with the director and Halle Berry. Everybody else ordered Japanese, but Robert told us how oatmeal was the 'superfood.'

"He brought his own packets of oatmeal to have at lunch. And he had this box of various herbs and stuff. And then he started doing these yoga moves. I mean, he was interesting but weird." 

Robert Downey Jr. and Susan Downey attend the EE BAFTA Film Awards 2024 at The Royal Festival Hall on February 18, 2024 in London, England© Gareth Cattermole/BAFTA
Robert and Susan had a long engagement

In October 2003, they made their red carpet debut at the premiere of The Singing Detective, a musical that Robert starred in, and one month later, he proposed. 

Sharing their engagement story on The Oprah Winfrey Show, Robert explained: "It was her birthday and I wanted to get her before she turned 30. So, I waited right before midnight. 

"I got her a bunch of stuff and then there was a ring. And she opened that, and I said… What did I say?"

robert downey jr susan downey wedding day© Getty Images
Robert and Susan married in 2005 on Long Island

Susan answered: "'I was wondering if, maybe, you'd wanna, like, be my wife one day.'" 

Despite his quick proposal, the couple didn't tie the knot until August 27, 2005, in Long Island, New York.

Get the lowdown on the biggest, hottest celebrity news, features and profiles coming out of the U.S.  Sign up to our HELLO! Hollywood newsletter and get them delivered straight to your inbox. 

Sign up to HELLO Daily! for the best royal, celebrity and lifestyle coverage

By entering your details, you are agreeing to HELLO! Magazine User Data Protection Policy. You can unsubscribe at any time. For more information, please click here.

More Weddings

See more