Nicole Kidman has been in the spotlight for enough decades to have been confronted with every kind of question about her career, her style and even her personal life.
However, the actress, 57, had the sweetest response when asked a question that she surprisingly had never been posed with before — and it's all got to do with being a mom.
The star shares two grown-up kids with her ex-husband Tom Cruise, Bella and Connor, who keep out of the spotlight, as well as teenagers Sunday and Faith, shared with her current husband Keith Urban.
© Dan Beleiu/AllureMother Nicole
During a conversation with Allure, when the topic turned to her family life after discussing the passing of her mother Janelle Ann Kidman last year, Nicole was asked: "Do you like who you are as a mother?"
The Holland actress pointed that she'd never actually been asked that question before, and emphasized that she was indeed in fact very close with her two girls, and proud of it.
"I do, actually. Yeah," she shared. "I'm very close to both my girls. I sit on their beds and discuss the most intimate things; I get to be their guide. If they want to tell me to be quiet, they can."
© InstagramExpanding more upon their open and honest bond, she added: "I'm able to apologize to them. I'm able to stand up to them. I very much like the relationship we have. It's nice to be able to say that."
Losing Janelle
Nicole also spoke tenderly about her late mom, echoing the bond they shared as well, revealing that she would call her mother who lived in Australia at odd hours of the night, when the rest of her family was asleep.
"Losing my mother changed every part of me," the mom-of-four explained. "I spoke to her every second or third day. And because she was on the other side of the world, if I woke up at 5:00 a.m., I'd get up, I'd walk around the block and I'd talk to her for an hour before the girls got up, before Keith got up. That was the rhythm of my day."
© Dan Beleiu/AllureAdding further to her idea of grief and healing, she expanded upon the complicated emotions that come from being a public figure dealing with loss. "I'm so raw with it. I feel embarrassed because I feel like, Oh, you've talked about it enough."
"It's okay"
"So I have to keep saying to myself, It's okay. Maybe it's my sense of what I feel I should be doing. I'm trying to be quiet and have it be a more intimate thing with just my friends or my sister."
© Getty Images"The love was so profound that the loss of it…" she added before trailing off. "I'm on the journey of grief, the year of magical thinking." Less than a month ahead of her own 58th birthday, she also confronted the idea of getting older.
"I've always been a future person, and suddenly you go, 'Oh.' It's coming to terms with the idea that you have no control over the future," Nicole said. "I have more time behind me than ahead. That shift in the ratio becomes a big thing…. You're just always going, 'What is all this?' The existential questions. Who are we? Why are we here?"
