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Danny DeVito and Rhea Perlman's relationship 'speaks volumes' - what drives their strong bond following separation

Danny and Rhea separated in 2012 after 30 years of marriage


Danny DeVito and Rhea Perlman's relationship 'speaks volumes' - what drives their strong bond following separation© Bruce Glikas
Bryony Gooch
US Writer
January 16, 2024
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Many people might have raised their eyebrows when they saw Danny DeVito attending the Emmys with Rhea Perlman, who he has been separated from since 2012. But the duo seemed perfectly friendly as they made their way down the red carpet together.

Rhea was at the Emmys as part of a reunion with fellow cast members from Cheers, while Danny appeared with the rest of the It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia cast to pay tribute to a number of iconic series in television - including his ex-wife's own show.

Rhea Perlman and Danny DeVito with daughter Lucy© Getty
Rhea Perlman and Danny DeVito with their daughter Lucy at the 75th Primetime Emmy Awards

Danny wasn't afraid to joke about his ex-wife's success, as his own show has never been nominated for an Emmy. "Even Rhea won four for Cheers", he quipped. 

Despite their separation, the couple have stayed close. Their three kids, Lucy - who joined her parents on the red carpet, Grace and Jake have all grown up. But what is the secret to their post-split harmony?

Louella Alderson, relationship expert and co-founder of dating site So Syncd, exclusively shared her thoughts with HELLO!

WATCH: Danny DeVito joins estranged wife Rhea Perlman at the Emmys

“It's heartwarming to see Danny DeVito and Rhea Perlman continue to support each other even after their separation over 10 years ago", she said. "This speaks to the strong bond they have built over their long marriage and as parents to their three children."

"While it isn’t always easy for couples to maintain a friendly relationship after divorce or separation, it shows that Danny and Rhea had a deep connection that they felt was worth sustaining despite deciding to go their separate ways after 30 years of marriage. When this is done for the right reasons, it’s a testament to the purity of the love for one another."

She continued: "Sometimes, a romantic connection between two people can change over time and fizzle out, but it doesn't always mean that the love and care for each other is gone."

"In cases like Danny and Rhea, they had 40 years of history together, and that bond can continue to exist even after their marriage has ended. Some couples can find a way to move past the hurt and disappointment of a failed marriage and maintain a strong friendship."

NEW YORK, NEW YORK - JULY 31: Rhea Perlman and Danny DeVito at the opening night of the play "Let's Call Her Patty" at Lincoln Center Claire Tow Theater on July 31, 2023 in New York City. (Photo by Bruce Glikas/Getty Images)© Bruce Glikas
Rhea and Danny remain close

In fact Rhea has spoken about how difficult it was to reconcile after their separation.

Speaking to Julia Louis-Dreyfus on her Wiser Than Me podcast, the Barbie actress revealed: "I'm not going to like sugarcoat it, it was difficult. It was very difficult at first. There were a lot of reasons as to why we separated, which I'm not going to go into. But it took time for us to come to this somehow pretty decent understanding and relationship with each other."

Louella added that "their appearance at the Emmys together speaks volumes about their love for each other as people rather than just ex-spouses. It's admirable that they continue to support each other in different aspects of their lives."

This backs up another thing that Rhea confirmed on the podcast, which is that: "Danny and I have always loved each other. We have three amazing children together, and we really agree on almost everything important. Our relationship] is much better because all the tense stuff is gone. Not in your face, I'm not in his, he's not in mine."

It's important to note that Rhea and Danny never got divorced, and they never plan to. Their relationship stands out in an industry where often famous couples suffer deeply messy divorces and splits.

Relating to this, Louella added couldn't help but praise the duo for their approach.

"In Hollywood, where relationships are often scrutinized and breakups can be messy, seeing Danny and Rhea come together in support of each other sends a positive message about the potential for amicable separations and maintaining healthy relationships after divorce", she said.

"However, every situation is unique, and it may not always be possible for couples to stay friendly after a separation. That’s okay too. There are many reasons why marriages don't work out, and it's important for individuals to look after their own well-being and happiness. It appears that in Danny and Rhea's case, remaining in each others' lives was the best decision for them and their family."

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