Actress Tanya Moodie, best known for her role on BBC's beloved sitcom Motherland, spoke about her experiences struggling to conceive, and how she overcame them, during an appearance on HELLO!'s Second Act podcast, hosted by Ateh Jewel. The 53-year-old, who is now a mother to one daughter, explained how it took her ten years to fall pregnant, and the way that she and her ex-husband managed to conceive while they stayed in a fertility hut in Sri Lanka, where he had been teaching yoga at the time.
Tanya Moodie struggled to conceive at first
The Motherland star told Ateh: "We know we wanted to have a child, but it took me ten years to conceive. I have polycystic ovarian syndrome, and the advice was always, you really should get IVF, and eventually we went on the waiting list." She added that she believes that "there's so much silence and there's so much judgement surrounding people who struggle to conceive."
Tanya also spoke about the psychological and social difficulties that she faced because of her struggle to conceive, saying: "I thought that I was just getting on with it. And then I realised in time that when certain friends said that they were pregnant, I would drop them. I didn't even know what I was doing until years later, I lost friends. 'Whatever happened to that friend? Oh yeah, I stopped calling them. Why did I do that? Oh, duh'."
Tanya managed to conceive in a fertility hut
After ten years, Tanya and her ex-husband managed to conceive while they were away, though the circumstances were rather unorthodox. Recounting the experience, she said: "I went to visit my ex in Sri Lanka, where he was teaching yoga, and he said, 'Oh, they're going to house us in the fertility hut. Every time people stay there, they end up conceiving'. And I said, 'Well, that's ridiculous, but thanks for the idea'."
She continued: "So I went there, stayed with him, and then I went to this retreat, and there was a doctor. I told him everything in the past ten years that I've done, and he looked at me, and I thought he was going to say, 'Drink this tincture'. He just looked at me and said, 'Yeah, I think you should try IVF.'" However, there was something that Tanya didn't realise at that moment: "The whole time I was speaking to him, I was pregnant. It was the freaking hut."
Tanya tries to 'lead by example' as a parent
Now an incredibly proud mother, the 53-year-old does her best to "lead by example" for her daughter in her daily life. She told Ateh: "[My daughter] sees me being assiduous and focused and really committed to my work and to my work ethic. I hope that it would rub off."
At the same time, Tanya, as all good parents do, does her best not to let her daughter take on any of the things that hold her back: "I really try not to put any of my anxiety on her, my odd thought processes or self-flagellation. To me, it's not about you and you living your dreams through them. I think that's what I really try to do."
Tanya's 'second act' following eight-year relationship
After her last long-term relationship of eight years ended over the Christmas period last year, Tanya feels as if she is in her 'second act'. She explained: "It's how I've been recovering [from the break up] that I've noticed is different. I've been divorced twice, and I've had big upheavals like this before, but my attitude after those upheavals was normally, 'Right, dust yourself off and get back on the horse'."
She described how her reaction to the fallout of a relationship has changed drastically: "I would enter into another monogamous situation. I'm not criticising anyone who does that, not at all. But what I've learned this time around, however, is I'm like, 'I think I'm done'. I think I'm done doing things the way I always did before."
Listen to the Second Act podcast now on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Amazon Podcasts and Youtube.