9 rules when travelling with your partner for the first time

When it comes to reducing the risk of a fall-out and ensuring harmony in a relationship, think of effective communication as the number one rule. Jo Hayes, a world-leading etiquette expert and founder of EtiquetteExpert.Org, specialising in social skills, says that communication is the key. "While there is a level of needing to be able to 'go with the flow', and adapt when on vacation - and certainly when travelling with someone else for the first time - communicating expectations/preferences can save a lot of conflict, frustration and arguments."

She adds: "Discussing such things before will bring all expectations into the open while you're still in 'comfortable' territory at home, enabling you to discuss plans, and figure out a compromise before the 'heat of the moment'." Joanne Jones, Relationship Expert at Trusted Psychics, agrees: "Some of us love a busy schedule with early morning sightseeing, while others want languid mornings and spa days. So, if you don't talk about each other's needs beforehand, it's easy to get out of sync. You are not criticising each other's preferences but being realistic and planning so that both of you can have an equally enjoyable holiday."

This is, of course, linked to communication. Agreeing on the price of the hotel and flights is relatively straightforward, but be honest about what you're likely to spend and divvy up when you're there before your journey. This will help prevent any awkward conversations when asking for the bill in a restaurant.

Joanne advises that keeping this light can effectively diffuse potentially heated situations. "Laughter can be a brilliant pressure release, so if you get lost, mispronounce something, or fumble through a cultural misunderstanding, laugh! These are often the stories you'll remember most fondly later on and can help you bond."

Although the experts reiterated that communicating preferences beforehand is important, it's also crucial to embrace flexibility when you're there. Plans change and things crop up; it'll help diffuse angst if you're easy-going about the whole thing. "Even the best-planned holidays have hiccups such as missed buses, overbooked restaurants, and unexpected weather," says Joanne. "The key is how you react together. If one of you tends to get anxious when things go wrong, and the other shrugs it off, knowing that ahead of time can help prevent frustration and help you make plans to mitigate said stress. The holiday isn't ruined because plans have changed, but a chance to show emotional adaptability and teamwork."

This leads to the next point: if something does irk you (it's okay to feel annoyed that the restaurant that's been at the top of your 'to-try' list is overbooked), then consider whether it's worth getting in an argument about. "Allowing yourself to get snappy/rude is never the way to handle disagreements – and there's no excuse," says Jo. "Take a deep breath, excuse yourself to a separate space if necessary to regain your calm/composure, then return and discuss the issue in a kind, calm, clear way."

In a similar vein, Joanne notes that while it's important to pick your battles, acknowledging your stressors and feelings is just as crucial. "Most arguments aren't really about what's happening; they're about feeling misunderstood, exhausted, or out of sync," she says. "Simply saying, 'I think we're both just tired, let's hit pause and pick this up later,' can work wonders."

If you're travelling with a partner for the first time, it's probably wise you keep the trip short and sweet. Heading abroad for a whole week or more might be a bit overwhelming. Joanne notes that the shorter the better. "If the relationship is very new, keep the trip short and low-pressure. A weekend break is a far better idea than a two-week luxury escape, especially if you haven't had time to develop your communication yet. 

"A short break can act as a magnifying glass, meaning you'll see how your partner handles logistics, stress, their ability to compromise, and how they deal with unexpected curveballs." If you are going away for longer, then factoring in some alone time is a good idea. Don't be afraid to ask for an hour or two alone by the pool with your book!

It's important to remember that a vacation is not normal life, so whether the trip is full of arguments, or indeed if it's almost too blissful to be true, remember that it's a temporary, out-of-the-ordinary situation, so it doesn't necessarily mean that the relationship will be like that the whole time in the 'real' world. Jo advises: "A holiday is not normal life. While yes, it’s likely to bring out the best and the worst in them, so in that respect, you'll get to know them. But most of your life together as a couple is not going to be vacation mode. So I would say a better way to get to know someone is simply to spend regular time together doing 'normal life' things. Seeing how they handle lost luggage may reveal a certain side to them, but this is, perhaps, a once-in-a-lifetime occurrence. I'd be more inclined to observe them doing regular life things, over a longer period of time, to get a feel for their character, honesty, humility, etc."